My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
