I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
