Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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