And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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