Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
