He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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