Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So vagazzling was a success
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize