Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
