thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
