I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
