Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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