She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
