We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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