Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
