My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
