she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize