It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
