Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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