Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
