if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize