I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
