Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
