wat bout pragnant strippers??
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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