Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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