Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
