Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
