im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
