Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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