Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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