He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
