Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
