I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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