I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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