I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
