just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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