Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
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YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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