I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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