I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
