I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
