make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
