Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
