Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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