Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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