so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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