You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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