I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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