well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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