Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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