Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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