hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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