After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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