does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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