Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
