I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
