i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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