i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize