she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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