i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The air was thick with penises
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
