I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
