making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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