I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
