Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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