Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
